Priorities

I know my priorities are screwed. I'll be okay and if I'm not than I'll find something to fall back on and still be a similar person to who I am now.

Don't Judge!!

School

School is pointless. When am I EVER going to need to know how to write a dialectic journal?! And what world that I'll go into is going to require pre-calc and trig on the same day????????? I have lunch with no one.

I hate that Eric has my blog address enough that I may start a new blog and give this one up. Bleh.

Apparently Julia met a guy at WaterWorld today and I looked through like 300 people on facebook for her, looking for him. Jordan M something... He lives in Boulder and he has light brown hair and bright blue eyes and is going into high school. I don't think she's gonna find him. But there's always that fate crap they teach you to believe in.

Official Favorite Song: Don't Stop Believin'!!

Just For Aly

Eric if you're reading this please stop.

Dear Aly,
You won't text or call me back... I was totally pissed at you for a tonna stuff and texted you last night a like 1am. You didn't respond all day. Than at like 11 I tried to ask if you got my messages and you didn't respond. And than I find out that you tell Eric Grahm more than you tell me because you talk to him which is more than I can say for us. So now instead of being pissed I'm hurt and upset. You have a life and I'm listening to you and avoiding DJ and I miss hanging out with you!! Please text or call or blog or get a facebook. Please Aly, respond. Obviously in semi-desperate and I need someone to talk to!! Please
From, Your Friend?? Caley

Love

Goddamn broken hearts.

~

I now realize that saying I've had... 9 (?) boyfriends in the ten weeks of summer is sorta ridiculous and makes me look really bad, but I didn't really date most of them... Ryan was the only really serious boyfriend I've ever had and we only broke up cause we had to. Kyle T. was pretty great too... And Jeff. Caleb was more fun but I broke up with him 'cause I feel bad about how I've "dated" so many of them and it's not really fair for him as I still and always have loved Ryan a helluva lot more than I could love one of his friends. And he knows that.
I guess by dating all of the people he hung around has been me trying to find the perfect sub for Ryan... Tuesday is going to suck. "Goodbye forever" is sorta cheesy, but in real life it's one of the more realistically painful than should have to be done. :'(

Erin + Justin = Betrayal
Can't believe I actually trusted her.

Love

"You know you're in love when reality is finally better than your dreams," so since my dreams suck so much that means I must really really love reality ;-)

Not really true but I do love life and I get why everything has happened the way it has

Tomorrow will be a big day... Breaking up with Caleb and letting go of all of my Parker friends...ethan and all the Exes: Ryan Jeff Austin Kyle t Alex Kevin Eric Luke... Plus all of my girl Friends who I'll really miss!!!
But I shouldn't keep blowing my other friends fir them. None of them but Kevin is my age or younger either and we broke up forever ago.
Sorry!!!
And Ryan, you were perfect. Sorry Kyle happened. More sorry than you could imagine

Also tomorrow there'll be telling the right people about the abusing issue with my friend.

John will never read this... I hope someday he realizes how much he impacts me and how much I'll miss him. Just because I know goodbye is coming doesn't mean it won't hurt worse than ever to say it. This time ita not just a program he'll quit or a winter-long thing. This is for 4 years and by then I'll be off to college.
John, you're the perfect totally non-perfect brother for me

Also, I am getting better at guitar!! Someday I'll actually sing something I wrote!!

I will never miss the years in middle achool and I'll try to never remember them :-) it's not like my last day was great (thanks Kyle by the way)

THINGS WILL CHANGE and they will be better because they can't really get worse. I forgave myself for... Everything

Love God -> Love life -> happiness??
We'll find out :D